March 12 2014
With the cost of living skyrocketing beyond what many would consider affordable, Australians are increasingly looking for ways to lower their expenditure. Rent and mortgage costs? You can’t do a lot about it. Costs of lighting up your home? Intractable. Gas? Rather useful. Water? Food? Porn? It all adds up, and the average middle-income earner is left with a charred hole in their pocket where their income used to be.
If this is the case with the market for our staple and fairly necessary consumption, one can only imagine the rising costs of luxury items like clothes, shoes and homewares as being even more crippling. Shampoo is quite handy. But at $16.99 a bottle, it damn well should be.
So what can the average consumer do? Are there really any viable steps we can take to reduce the cost of luxury or necessary items so we come home from the shops with a heavier wallet?
Perhaps we could scurry around with a pencil in our hair and a QR code reader on our phones and compare prices from one retailer to the next. Surely it pays to be informed. But with this method one is forced to ask of themselves… is a couple of dollars really worth all the trouble?
So price comparison isn’t the way to go then. Well, what about downsizing? Homebrand stuff all the way. Supermarkets, as well as fashion and home retailers all have their own branded items. All of which earn them huge margins per product and earn you another trip back to the shop much too soon to replace broken and worn out items. And of course, there are some things you can’t skimp on. (Ever tried home brand mayonnaise?)
It doesn’t sound like there is much we can do to individually bag ourselves lot of bargains. So I am proposing a crazy new idea here. It is all about forcing companies to invest more of their capital straight back into the price of the good.
It’s called the ‘STOP THROWING SHIT ON THE FLOOR’ method and it is the latest research coming out of the greatest minds in retail. The thinking behind the ‘STOP THROWING SHIT ON THE FLOOR’ method has the potential to revolutionise the way that retailers do business. You see, if people stop THROWING SHIT ON THE GODDAMNED FLOOR then retailers, especially in big box fashion retailing, can invest the MILLIONS of dollars they spend on hiring people to stand around and PICK SHIT UP into lowering the prices of the goods!
I know, I know. I am going to give you a moment to calm down, to absorb this news and this idea, as it is pretty revolutionary. As you have probably already identified, there are some definite issues with the ‘STOP THROWING SHIT ON THE FLOOR’ method. I know that when I go into a store to buy some new clothes, it isn’t analysing the cut of the garment, or looking at its components, or even trying the garment on that really sells me on it. It is the sight of it crumpled up on the floor after I have brushed it off its hanger that is really the clincher for me, and many consumers just like me. “Hmm, that’s a nice top… nice silky feel, sensible sleeves, nice pattern… OH, I MIGHT JUST THROW IT ON THE FUCKING FLOOR to see if I really like it or if it is just a passing phase. Yeah, see? Doesn’t fall right. I’ll leave that one.” Yeah you’ll leave it. On the floor.
Research shows that in a typical big box retail store, as much as $15 000 a week is spent on people to stand there and PICK SHIT UP OFF THE FLOOR. That could be $4.5m a week across a chain on: Picking. Shit. Up. Off. The. Fucking. Floor. Times 52 weeks? That is indeed $234m for just one year, all spent on… I’m not gonna say it again. Seems like what financiers call a “bad cost”, but not for the businesses themselves, oh no. They don’t have a choice. You throw it, they are obliged to pick it up.
But for you, my entrepreneurial little consumers, for you it is different! For you have the power! You could be ensuring that companies invest that $234m back into their PRICES. Making the items you love (on the floor) literally dollars and dollars cheaper!!!
And all it takes is a small omission. One tiny concession.
STOP THROWING SHIT ON THE FLOOR.