Your home for exclusive coverage of news, current affairs and weather... when we can be bothered to look out of the window.

 

Exciting new technology: the Nintendo Wii in black dubbed by experts as ‘innovative’.

February 15 2010

 

 

Nintendo has again ignited the imaginations of gamers around the globe with the announcement of their newest work of scientific genius, the Black Wii Console, to be launched in Australia in late March.

 

The first Nintendo Wii took the world by storm, with approximately 67 million units shipped around the world by late 2009, and adding another chapter to a legacy has spanned decades, and is set to span many decades more.

 

Nintendo hinted at the new console at the E3 conference of 2009, but stopped just short of outlining the specifications of the innovation. According to one Nintendo insider, designers have been working non-stop ever since the release of the first Wii in 2005.

 

“This is a real breakthrough in gaming technology,” says the insider, who wishes to remain anonymous. “The console is fully back compatible, which is an amazing feat, due to the near incompatibility of the technology.”

 

It isn’t only the old games that you can play on the new Wii. You can also be a party to all the old features, like the wireless remote that picks up three-dimensional movement.

 

“The good thing about this console is that it is not going to frighten the market,” continues the insider. “Usually when something new comes out, we have to really coax consumers into saying goodbye to their hard-won understanding of an old system in favour of a new system.”

 

“But the new Black Wii bypasses that, as it is essentially exactly the same as the old one. Just, er, more innovative and exciting and technological, that’s all.”

 

To support the new console, Nintendo has announced the release of a range of Black Mario games. 

 

The only response that rival manufacturers like Sony and Microsoft have to this is the rumour of a new Call of Duty title; Call of Duty: Civil Warfare.

Fun Easter Facts!

  • The date of Easter changes each year and is determined by the lunar cycle! ... Sounds a little heathenistic to me!

 

  • Christians, prostitutes celebrate Easter by spending hours on their knees.

 

  • The pagan goddess "Eastre" was particularly enamoured with rabbits. Hence easter, hence rabbits... it is all coming together.

 

  • Little chocolate Jesus' were the forehoppers to chocolate rabbits.

 

 The Static Press: where the news breaks faster than we can fix it back up.