February 20th 2012
CANBERRA, MONDAY: What seemed like the entire Labor front bench assured voters today that they were all ‘getting on with their jobs’.
This outrageous claim comes at a delicate time, as the party has been under fire this week over assertions that Foreign Minister Kevin Rudd might have the numbers to overthrow Julia Gillard and reclaim the leadership of the Labor party, and in turn the Smug Prime Ministership.
The situation has thrown both the Parliament and the public into an uproar, and little else has been discussed or acted upon since. However, Labor MPs assure voters and naysayers in the Liberal-National party that they are ‘getting on with their jobs’.
In an interview on ABC News Breakfast this morning, Defence Minister Stephen Smith blazed the soundbite trail, and this journalist in particular is prepared to attribute the extreme Labor outpour of job-getting-on-with all to Minister Smith. The minister’s words were resounding, and contained intelligent and cutting-edge logic as yet unheard of within the Labor circle.
"Well people should just in my view get on with their jobs," he said. "…I think the interest of the Government, the interest of the nation is best served by people getting on with their job."
As a result, there has been a burst of productivity from the front bench. Penny Wong, Nicola Roxon, Peter Garrett and other ministers are all getting on with their jobs now too, a feat which The Static Press thinks is particularly impressive seeing as they were all walking in an airport at the time of their bold claim.
Peter Garrett has since commented that, seeing as his portfolio is such a joke he is now going to re-re-re-structure it to include airport terminals on his list of accountability. The Minister for Education (and Domestic Airport Terminals) has get to make a statement on the controversial Gonski education report which was released this morning, as he is busy getting on with his job.
Julia Gillard and Kevin Rudd, however, outdo even their fellow parliamentarians in regards to their jobs, and getting on with them. Rudd has taken the reportedly extreme measure of flying all the way to Mexico in a bid to assure both voters and Julia that he was getting on with his job.
And, even though Labor ministers are no longer discussing leadership contentions with the media as they are all very busy getting on with their jobs, we political journalists will not let a sleeping dog lie. When we asked Kevin Rudd about the leadership challenge, he said:
"There is no fucking prospect of a fucking challenge as I am the fucking Foreign Minister and we have a dickhead Prime Minister already, fucking okay?"
When asked to comment, former Labor Prime Minister Paul Keating merely said that Tony Abbott was a "bunyip" who never got on with anything.
