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      Two planeloads of Leonorians told to 'go back wher
   Politics
      Abbott claims that his advice was meant for his fake son, not for a nation.
      Rudd speaks out, realises he really shouldn't have.
      Disgruntled Western Australian MasterChef viewers vow to not support Julia Gillard in tomorrow's leadership challenge
      Gillard admits to harbouring rampant atheistic tendencies, hair dye
      Leaky labor looks leak even leakier leaks
      Labor MPs Get On With Their Jobs
   Religion
      Christians deny the existence of Richard Dawkins
      omnipervert
   The World
      BP Re-re-re-re estimates extent of oil spill
      Trijicon insider claims 'Jesus quotes' too moderate for Middle East; suggests Virginia Woolf instead.
      The Onion to rethink the way it presents it content, claims a rogue office mug.
   Science & Tech
      Exciting new technology: the Nintendo Wii in black dubbed by experts as 'innovative'.
      2011 dubbed year of iPad 2
   Opinion
   Sport
      Golden Arches as much a symbol of a nation as Boxing Kangaroo, say the Americans
   Weather
      Farmers rejoice - 'Jesus coming to reign on earth'.
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Today's Poll

Q: Who leaked Kevin Rudd's controversial (if amusing) swearing video?

a. Kevin Rudd

b. Kevin Rudd

c. Kevin Rudd

d. A bunyip baron

Send answers to someone who cares.

 The Static Press: where the news breaks faster than we can fix it back up.