Trijicon insider claims ‘Jesus quotes’ too moderate for Middle East; suggests V irginia Woolf instead.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        January 25 2010

A Trijicon insider has today revealed that the company does not intend to remove all the quotes from rifle scopes being deployed to the Middle East.

The Michigan based weapons manufacturer has been under fire recently for inscribing ‘Jesus quotes’ on rifle sights that have been purchased and used by the US military.

The company came out on Thursday and announced that it would remove the Bible inscriptions that have been printed on all its scopes. But an anonymous insider has claimed that the Jesus references were only the tip of the iceberg.

“All sorts of quotes have been referenced,” the insider claims. “We have a quote for all occasions.”

It has been claimed that one batch of rifle scopes individually referenced 10 000 different Virginia Woolf quotes.

“There is plenty of Oscar Wilde as well,” the insider says. “I’ve even heard that there is some Gore Vidal and George Orwell. It’s not a pretty sight.”

Officials deny these reports, denouncing them as uninformed and downright ridiculous.

“It’s one thing to claim that rifle sights have the word of God on them,” a spokesperson for Trijicon says. “It’s something else entirely to claim that our company has churned out yet another crappy anthology of writers’ quotes. This is most disturbing.”

Ibrahim Hooper, a spokesman for the Council on American-Islamic Relations, says that, if these claims are substantiated, they are potentially a lot more harmful than the

‘Jesus quotes’.

“The US is already fighting against the image that it has waged a holy war upon Islam,” Hooper says. “But reports of quotes on the latest batch which glorify women go directly against the beliefs of the Muslim extremism, and will be very badly received.”

Hooper goes on to urge Trijicon to think carefully before proselytizing its ‘wanky literary propaganda’, as it could have ‘wide-reaching consequences’ if discovered by the much more sensible Middle Eastern audience.

“Of course, the beliefs of Islam are much more in line with the Christian Bible than they are with the sentiments of Virginia Woolf.”